{"id":5693,"date":"2025-02-24T08:00:00","date_gmt":"2025-02-24T07:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/aequus.fr\/journaldebord\/?p=5693"},"modified":"2026-02-05T03:48:32","modified_gmt":"2026-02-05T02:48:32","slug":"les-gravides-de-la-saint-modeste","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/aequus.fr\/journaldebord\/les-gravides-de-la-saint-modeste\/","title":{"rendered":"les gravides de la Saint Modeste"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image size-large\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"1024\" height=\"768\" src=\"https:\/\/aequus.fr\/journaldebord\/wp-content\/uploads\/IMG_3746-1024x768.jpeg\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-5720\" srcset=\"https:\/\/aequus.fr\/journaldebord\/wp-content\/uploads\/IMG_3746-1024x768.jpeg 1024w, https:\/\/aequus.fr\/journaldebord\/wp-content\/uploads\/IMG_3746-300x225.jpeg 300w, https:\/\/aequus.fr\/journaldebord\/wp-content\/uploads\/IMG_3746-768x576.jpeg 768w, https:\/\/aequus.fr\/journaldebord\/wp-content\/uploads\/IMG_3746-1536x1151.jpeg 1536w, https:\/\/aequus.fr\/journaldebord\/wp-content\/uploads\/IMG_3746-2048x1535.jpeg 2048w, https:\/\/aequus.fr\/journaldebord\/wp-content\/uploads\/IMG_3746-scaled.jpeg 1200w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 1024px) 100vw, 1024px\" \/><figcaption class=\"wp-element-caption\">Chronique illustr\u00e9e de cinq gestations, en toute modestie (esturgeon, poule, femme, jument, \u00e9l\u00e9phante) :<br>Nous sommes le 25 f\u00e9vrier, jour de la Saint Modeste, aussi je souhaitais partager avec vous cette petite anecdote qui m\u2019a bien fait sourire: une femelle mammif\u00e8re bip\u00e8de se regarde dans le miroir sous tous les angles et demande \u00e0 son compagnon, si elle a, ou non, ce \u00ab&nbsp;rayonnement in\u00e9narrable&nbsp;\u00bb attribu\u00e9 aux femmes gravides\u2026 <br>Il la regarde, un peu surpris, il lui r\u00e9pond :<br>&#8211; Oui, il y a un peu de cela, je dirais m\u00eame que tu ressembles beaucoup \u00e0 une ampoule !<br>Kandide<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image size-large\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"1024\" height=\"768\" src=\"https:\/\/aequus.fr\/journaldebord\/wp-content\/uploads\/IMG_3745-1024x768.jpeg\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-5722\" srcset=\"https:\/\/aequus.fr\/journaldebord\/wp-content\/uploads\/IMG_3745-1024x768.jpeg 1024w, https:\/\/aequus.fr\/journaldebord\/wp-content\/uploads\/IMG_3745-300x225.jpeg 300w, https:\/\/aequus.fr\/journaldebord\/wp-content\/uploads\/IMG_3745-768x576.jpeg 768w, https:\/\/aequus.fr\/journaldebord\/wp-content\/uploads\/IMG_3745-1536x1151.jpeg 1536w, https:\/\/aequus.fr\/journaldebord\/wp-content\/uploads\/IMG_3745-2048x1535.jpeg 2048w, https:\/\/aequus.fr\/journaldebord\/wp-content\/uploads\/IMG_3745-scaled.jpeg 1200w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 1024px) 100vw, 1024px\" \/><figcaption class=\"wp-element-caption\">Aux \u00e9curies, la m\u00eame \u00ab\u00a0drama-queen\u00a0\u00bb, proche du terme, lorsqu\u2019elle n\u2019est pas alit\u00e9e, d\u00e9ambule lentement depuis trois semaines, avec la d\u00e9marche d\u2019une baleine \u00e9chou\u00e9e. Elle tient dans ses deux mains sa pr\u00e9cieuse bedaine, comme si elle cherchait \u00e0 prot\u00e9ger l\u2019h\u00e9ritier du tr\u00f4ne. \u00c0 ce titre, elle lan\u00e7e des regards dramatiques \u00e0 qui veut bien la plaindre et somatise \u00e0 qui mieux mieux.<br>Pendant ce temps et depuis plus de 300 millions d\u2019ann\u00e9es que le processus de reproduction existe, la donzelle met en avant son <em>courage<\/em>, parce qu\u2019elle est convaincue que sa nature gravide doit \u00eatre copieusement applaudie et r\u00e9compens\u00e9e. <br>Exhiber son bidouf&rsquo; comme un troph\u00e9e, c\u2019 est une n\u00e9cessit\u00e9.<br>La gestation, c\u2019 est comme un op\u00e9ra sous le feu des projecteurs, assorti d\u2019 une bande son et d\u2019effets <em>sp\u00e9cieux<\/em>, que l\u2019\u00a0\u00ab\u00a0influenceuse du placenta\u00a0\u00bb met en partage sur les r\u00e9seaux sociaux. Elle pr\u00e9pare m\u00eame un r\u00e9el intitul\u00e9 : \u00ab\u00a0<em>semaine 35 de ma transformation en d\u00e9esse de la fertilit\u00e9.<\/em>\u00bb.<br>Entre nous, si une poule ou un esturgeon devaient faire un r\u00e9el \u00e0 chaque fois qu\u2019elles pondent un \u0153uf, le serveur de Meta ne serait-il pas proche d\u2019exploser ?<br>Et que dire de la jument ou de l\u2019\u00e9l\u00e9phante qui portent leur f\u0153tus bien plus longtemps que la Pimprenelle, sans faire leur mijaur\u00e9e ?<br>Elles sont amusantes, ces femmes : souvent persuad\u00e9es de pondre des cr\u00e9atures exceptionnelles d\u00e8s qu\u2019elles font quelque chose de biologique.<br>Kandide<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<p><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"","protected":false},"author":7,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"site-sidebar-layout":"default","site-content-layout":"","ast-site-content-layout":"default","site-content-style":"default","site-sidebar-style":"default","ast-global-header-display":"","ast-banner-title-visibility":"","ast-main-header-display":"","ast-hfb-above-header-display":"","ast-hfb-below-header-display":"","ast-hfb-mobile-header-display":"","site-post-title":"","ast-breadcrumbs-content":"","ast-featured-img":"","footer-sml-layout":"","ast-disable-related-posts":"","theme-transparent-header-meta":"","adv-header-id-meta":"","stick-header-meta":"","header-above-stick-meta":"","header-main-stick-meta":"","header-below-stick-meta":"","astra-migrate-meta-layouts":"default","ast-page-background-enabled":"default","ast-page-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-4)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"ast-content-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"footnotes":""},"categories":[38],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-5693","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uvdc"],"acf":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/aequus.fr\/journaldebord\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5693","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/aequus.fr\/journaldebord\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/aequus.fr\/journaldebord\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/aequus.fr\/journaldebord\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/7"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/aequus.fr\/journaldebord\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=5693"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/aequus.fr\/journaldebord\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5693\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/aequus.fr\/journaldebord\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=5693"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/aequus.fr\/journaldebord\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=5693"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/aequus.fr\/journaldebord\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=5693"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}